James Dobson died a few days ago. My mom looked up to him, read his books, listened to his radio show, etc. I have heard mixed reviews of him from people I respect, but I have no doubt that he was born again and doing his best and accomplished a lot. I kind of hate to give my personal opinion when I don’t have specific examples, but if anything, I’d say he was too milquetoast and not as bold and uncompromising as he should have been.
I’ve seen some posts on Facebook where more than half of the comments have been rejoicing over his death. That makes me think maybe he did more good than I thought. Also, if you’re facing that much hatred in death, I could see how that would wear someone down over decades. I just wanted to post some of the comments for the sake of preserving it and maybe as I think more I’ll have some more thoughts.
Here’s what Colorado’s gay governor had to say:
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It’s challenging to address the complex legacy of James Dobson, who passed this week in Colorado Springs at age 89. His life and work left a major mark on countless individuals, inspiring some to deepen their faith and strive for personal growth, while causing great pain and trauma for others due to his controversial and hurtful teachings.
Dr. Dobson was a staunch advocate for what he described as “traditional” gender roles, emphasizing a homemaker mother and a breadwinner father. In his writings, he suggested that women’s “natural sex appeal” served as their primary leverage in relationships, with men assuming responsibility for their care in exchange for affection. He wrote “The natural sex appeal of girls serves as their primary source of bargaining power in the game of life. In exchange for feminine affection and love, a man accepts a girl as his lifetime responsibility-supplying her needs and caring for her welfare. This sexual aspect of the marital agreement can hardly be denied.”
While these views often echoed a bygone era and perpetuated harmful stereotypes, they also resonated with those who searched for dignity and purpose in traditional roles. Today, we can affirm that there is honor in choosing to be a caregiver, homemaker, or provider—whether by a woman or a man—while emphasizing that such choices should be freely made, not imposed based on gender.
He also espoused incorrect and discredited views on homosexuality that caused pain and trauma for so many people: That being gay was neither a choice nor genetic, but was caused by external factors during early childhood like being too close to your mother. His views on homosexuality caused trauma for generations of LGBT youth, and also caused stress and trauma for parents who incorrectly were led to believe they they were at fault for their child being gay.
A big fan of spanking and physical punishment of children, he wrote as recently as 2015 “when spanking fails to make a child obey, the problem may be that the parent is not hitting hard enough or frequently enough.”
Yet, for all the harm caused, we cannot overlook the inspiration Dr. Dobson provided to some. Through his ministry, Focus on the Family, which he founded in Colorado Springs in 1977 and led until 2010, he reached over 200 million people worldwide at the height of his influence. Hailed by The New York Times as “the nation’s most influential evangelical leader,” his oratorical skill and charisma touched many lives, encouraging countless Coloradans and others to pursue faith, family, and personal improvement such as successfully recovering from drug and alcohol addiction.
Dr. Dobson was no doubt man of deep conviction, but his vision often excluded and even denigrated others. To have deployed his talents for love, kindness, and respect would have made an immense positive difference in the world. Sadly, any completion of his character ark of developing Christlike love for all humankind will have to occur in the afterlife, of which he was a fervent believer. So let us hope that he is in a better place, and that there is yet hope for redemption in the great beyond. How did Dr. Dobson’s legacy affect you? Did it help you in a time of need? Did it lead to suffering, shame, and repression? Share your stories below to help inform others about the complex legacy of Dr. James Dobson.
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Here are some other typical comments from other individuals. Much more than half are like these.
“I will always celebrate when the glare of hate and discrimination is dimmed. May his memory be short lived and his legacy rejected.”
“We should all be dancing in the streets. His legacy was harm and hate. I’m glad he is dead. Bad people remain bad after they die, let’s not pretend they are good just because they are dead.”
“Some men improve the world only by leaving it”
“The legacy is NOT complex. This man is responsible for trauma and abuse of thousands of children. I wish hell existed for him but I’m smart enough now to know better.”
“It’s not complex at all. He was a bigot, a misogynist and a person who negatively affected the lives of many people. Being a “person of faith” doesn’t get you off the hook for being hateful and cruel.”
“After comming out. I was offered Conversion counceling through FOF, It was an insult and a confirmation of the ignorance and Power of religion”
“There is nothing complex about it. He tried to hide his hate under a cloak of religion and the harm he caused can’t be forgiven. A legacy? Sure, but a shameful one at best.”
“He and his foundation were the reason that I left the church in the 1990s. It took me 20 years to make peace with it and find my way back.”
“He’s burning with his friend Ted Bundy”
“OMG! No parade? No dancing in the streets? Come on CO let’s PARTY”
“He will not be missed, he was a horrible, hateful person. I wish there was really a hell so he would spend all eternity there.”